Tricia,
There is something un American about the new contest. I really think that such basics as donuts, gum drops and beer should not be trifled with. On the other hand, I did cut down from four orange slices to three for my afternoon snack. That also means that I will only have one beer. So, that's progress.
Also, I think I should get some extra points for living with Mom. She can eat all she wants and not gain weight. She also likes to make pies, cakes, hamburgers, omelettes. All of these, I am gracious enough to consume --as a courtesy. I really have a greater challenge than the rest of you.
Me
I was quite moved by Dad's e-mail suggesting that the Challenge was not easy. So I took it upon myself to research further into what a Challenge really means. (And I might give myself bonus mental acuity points for it)
Nothing came up under: simple, painless or undemanding
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that frequent synonyms for Challenge include:
test
defy
brave
face up to
These are strong words, but can we really be expected to "test" our ability to forgo orange slices, donuts, and gum drops?
Can we truly be expected to "brave" the elements of available pastries?
I was truly concerned at the suggestion that I was running an Unpatriotic contest, so I rushed to the web to search for Patriotic Symbols of America, the Flag, the Bald Eagle and the Liberty Bell appeared, yet I could not find donuts, gum drops and beer!
And I was quite alarmed at the dangerous environment Dad finds himself in with all the cakes and pies, hamburgers and omelettes. Then I found an article in the Journal of Psychology that says the single most important element in maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a happy marriage.
I don't know about the rest of you, but when Bill starts making me omelettes, burgers and pies, I'm pretty happy.
So Dad, I'm sorry to say that I will have to decline your hardship request. But I might give you extra points for publishing a food journal that will tempt my real competition.
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